During my message on Sunday, July 12th, I mentioned that for me hiding=withholding. Over the last year I have gotten a very clear correlation between our withholding and our receiving. It seems obvious, right? I mean one of our spiritual practices is Giving & Receiving!
The work is to take the conceptual to the practical. Are our spiritual principles and practices showing up in our lives? Are we putting them to work? The willingness to turn within and do that exploration is what gives me access to a life of integrity, a life of aliveness, a life of wholeness.
The willingness to turn within and do that exploration is what gives me access to a life of integrity, a life of aliveness, a life of wholeness.
I’ve shared with you before that nearly 9 years ago I declared “I am in intimate and spiritual partnership with my best friend and husband.” I declared that before I met Nathan. It was a very clear desire for me. Shortly after that declaration was made Nathan showed up in my world. Very shortly after that we were married and bought a house. A future I could not have then conceived of revealed itself nearly instantly!
I didn’t fully understand the vision that I was declaring. I didn’t have a comfortable history around receiving. My deep and committed practice during that period of life enabled a little window of receiving to open up and allow Nathan and the many gifts he brought to flood into my awareness. Since then I have struggled with receiving Nathan’s love, affection and attention, in some ways it has been too much. His generosity of spirit, his romantic dreams and hopeful aspirations have felt uncomfortable and unsafe to me. I have created brilliant and unconscious ways of blocking his giving.
This morning during my practice which involved consciously putting away dishes and cleaning my kitchen to the sounds of John Legend’s “All of Me” I got it! I got Nathan’s generous, romantic and hopeful spirit. And I got the impact of hiding, withholding and blocking in our relationship and the impact of that far beyond our relationship! It is often said that the way you are in one area of life is the way you are in all areas of life.
Today I feel liberated. I feel a new level of willingness to receive. I feel a new level of willingness to give. There is a new level of aliveness in shedding that old way of being. The next part of our vision has room to unfold. Grateful for my practice.
Thank you. Very honest feelings arose in me as I read this and I know it’s because of your honesty.
Lola
As I watch you every Sunday that I commit to myself by showing up, and giving the gift of Bodhi: I see you on stage Authentic & Vulverable as you can possibly be. I so admire you and as one of my first spiritual leaders (Terry Cole Whitaker) taught “That’s For Me”. What you emulate is “For Me”. I Love you and the example you display cosistantly.
Michael, I love and adore you. Thank you for your heart and your commitment. You are such a gift to our community!!
Lola,
I’m awestruck by your generosity to share your deep awareness. Thank you for your leadership and honesty. It builds a bridge to wholeness.
I’m on a path to be more open to receive/give.
Love you darling,
Takara
Thanks Takara! I LOVE YOU!! So grateful to be walking this path together. XOXO
Lola, I appreciate your abundant heart and willingness to lead the way as an example of openness. So glad I found Bodhi!
I am so glad you found Bodhi too. What a gift you are!!!
#Resonance Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for reading! #Grateful
Thank you so much for sharing this story. It really spoke to me. I struggled a lot with receiving love in my last relationship and it was one of the reasons that I ended it. I wasn’t able to believe that it was o.k. to accept the love, life, money, etc. that was coming to me at that time. I didn’t believe that I was worthy of it.
This past year I have learned to accept myself, love myself and take care of myself. Now, I finally see that I am worth so many things that I was denying myself and am soooo grateful for that realization. I feel such gladness for you that you were also able to find that peace in receiving. Thank you!