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In part two of his September series, “Learning How To Forgive Myself And Others,” Reverend Gaylon McDowell gave five practical techniques to work on forgiveness. As Rev. McDowell reminded, “if you want to be whole, you’ve got to let go.”

Click the button to begin listening to the audio of the message at 24:44, when he begins explaining the techniques in the message. Read the bulleted points based on the transcript below.

Listen to the Audio

1. Accept The Facts

Accept the situation as it is factually. The facts are quite different from your story about it. So write down the facts about the situation and not your feelings about it. Really get clear. Get clear about what you are making it mean to you—what type of power you are giving it.

2. Reminder: You Cause Your Experience

Remind yourself that you are not, nor ever have been, a victim of anything or anyone—including yourself. You are the captain of your soul. Causation is always mental, and therefore you control your mind and you control the effects of your life. We are always causing our experience.

3. I AM Affirmations

Audibly affirm I AM statements of truth to yourself and the situation: I AM love; I AM peace; I AM joy. Speak the words with feeling deep down in your gut—if you can cheer about the Bulls or Bears, that same level of enthusiasm should be about your own life.

4. Mirror Talk

Look in the mirror every morning and evening and audibly affirm at least 3 times: I behold God’s goodness in you and all is well. Take three deep, long breaths after every affirmation and look yourself directly in your eyes. How can you affirm someone else’s spiritual wholeness if you refuse to behold it in yourself?

“How can you affirm someone else’s spiritual wholeness if you refuse to behold it in yourself?”

5. On Paper and Out Loud

Write down the name of a person or persons or an experience you are troubled with on a sheet paper and audibly affirm: I behold God’s goodness in you and I am free. I release you to your highest good, and I move on to my highest good. We are free. Do this complete exercise daily—the writing and the affirming—for at least a month with everything and everyone you’re in conflict with, past and present.

Photo credit: koeb via flickr


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  • Thank you SO MUCH for providing these steps in such an accessible manner! I came to the site meaning to listen again just to write these down, and it is so helpful to have it already done. Now I can spend the time listening to another talk on my list!

  • Indeed, thank you SO MUCH for providing these clear steps. It is very helpful and I will use the tools and share with my brother too.
    Thank you for all that you do!

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